Memories & Feelings Unleashed….

Best Buddies Philippines…. That’s what made my day!!! As in the whole day…. making me busy, feel tired, have muscle aches. But what the heck!!! Seeing the smiles of our special buddies made it all worthwhile.                                                           It seems like forever to me since I last joined an activity. What did I do there? Hmmmm… this and that… anything that I could do aside from what I was assigned to do from taking pics, hanging around with the kids who were my students before, just talking and laughing with them. Seems easy huh… not with the heat of the sun beating down on all of us and yet all I saw and heard were the smiles, laughter and shouts from everyone playing. On the left are some of the students I handled before. I may have forgotten some of their names (haha!!!) but not their pagka "sipat".

Our party this time was something different cause we invited 50 street children c/o Brother Paul. Pagkasipata pud pero lingaw… These are only three of the 55 children who attended our party. I honestly don’t know the names of the games they played…hahaha… but I did enjoy jumping and cheering in some of the games.

This are two of the prettiest if not the prettiest there that day. Sorry Malou… you would have been the third… And part of the Core Group with some teachers and parents of the kids. We don’t look tired do we…? Why should we? We went there, spent our time and effort, worked, played, laughed….. on our own. No one forced me to go. I went there because I wanted to and I had the time and mainly because…….

I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF OUR SPECIAL CHILDREN…..

Just a series of events (that I can remember) which led to a friendship that I treasure even if I don’t see you anymore.

• July 10,1991 -  We met casually at an interview. Sacred Heart Center. About 9 in the morning. MY THOUGHTS: Hmmmm… matangkad, maputi, kaya lang chinese at mukhang mayabang…bwahahahaha
• December 1991 -  Calls to and fro on the preparation that had to be made for the training we were to start taking January 1992. MY THOUGHTS: Kailangan talagang magtulungan para ma kumpleto ang mga dapat dalhin.
• January 12,1992 -  Start of training. Morning Star, Makati City. My dorm…RCG Dormitory. Your boarding house…along Reposo MY THOUGHTS: Buti nalang malapit bahay nila para makapagpaturo sa accounting na bobo ako.
• February to May 1992 -  study, study, study MY THOUGHTS: Hala pinasok natin ito..panindigan natin. Turuan mo ako ng accounting, ako bahala sa iyo sa cash.
• April 11,1992 - Las Brisas… ala recolletion of the whole class. Soul searching, sharing, playing, drinking, picture taking. You together with other classmates sat with me and helped me with bookkeeping. TALKING in the swing till 5 in the morning with my legs all covered with mosquito bites!!! MY THOUGHTS: Bait ng mga classmates kong bookkeepers… inupuan ako para matutor nila ako. (BFYI..i got sick with German measles so I missed the exam and they tutored me during our lunch break at Las brisas.) Nung gabi… hmmmm tutuong tao pala itong intsik na ito. Mabait naman. Iyakin din pala….oooopppssss
• April 18, 1992 - We had beer and pizza at Shakey’s Makati Ave. MY THOUGHTS: Ano ito? Continuation ng sharing namin sa Las Brisas? Ok na rin kasi pizza yata yan..
• May 7,1992 -  Graduation Day MY THOUGHTS: I made it!!! 100% kami. Pasado kami lahat sa training. Praise GOD!!!
• May 21,1992 - My assignment in Dumaguete. This started our endless communication thru telex. MY THOUGHTS: Ang gulo nitong intsik na ito pero okay din kasi may kausap ako. Little did I know that I would really need to talk to him and cry to him when my parents health worsened.
• June 1992 - Faculty Development Seminar MY THOUGHTS: Hayyy.. parati kaming magkikita kasi magiging speakers na kami sa mga seminars ng bank. Kulit raba…
• July to December 1992 - Endless talks, calls, trips, etc… My parents passed away and it was only him I could bare my soul to…cry to death and talk, talk, talk…. MY THOUGHTS: Cgurado ako butas ang bulsa nya nuon sa katatawag nya sa akin. But I appreciate all you’ve done just to hear me out and help me move on. I’ll never ever forget those times…
• 1993 -  your weekends in Cebu… our lakwatsa here and there. Crossing moviehouses.. 2 in an afternoon!!! Drives along the beach, sutukil, just staying home—hahaha.. you loved my brazo de mercedes…. talking till you leave monday dawn. Late 1993, I sort of made you stop coming to Cebu. Instead I made you go home more often. I am glad you did… MY THOUGHTS: Tigas kasi ng ulo mo. Buti nalang kaya kita..hahahaha yabang… seriously, I am glad you took my advice of going home and being with your mom.
• January 1994 -  Your mom passed away. I was the first one you called. MY THOUGHT: Ughhhh memories of losing someone came rushing back. But i’ll be here for you and I was….
• 1994-1996 - Your trips here to Cebu which was more often because of meetings, your weekends here, hanging around the malls, seeing movies together, drinking, dinners, cooking for you, your girlfriend (asan na kaya yun!!she sure did surprise me when she dropped by the branch), branch inaugurations, talking, a lot, lot, lot more…. MY THOUGHTS: I sure am glad to have found a friend in you.
• October 1996 - We went to Boracay. It was so much fun. You even laughed at me for using coconut oil as my tanning lotion BUT…. followed cause you saw how nice my color turned out. MY THOUGHTS: Thank you for respecting me and treating me as a friend and being my friend.
• 1997-1998 - Same same… weekends here in Cebu, meetings, seminars in Manila, our talks, drinking spree, driving to anywhere, arguments (talo ka most of the time kasi mali ka… hahaha), just walking along the streets, Holy Week in Cebu… Sometime 1998, things started to change. Your trips to Cebu lessend cause of distance… you were now back to Cotabato or Davao? MY THOUGHTS: La lang… friend talaga kita.

So many, many memories to talk about. So many secrets shared. For the past 6 years or so things changed because of the merger. Our sharings were thru text messages but we eventually got wrapped in our daily lives. We do have a lot to catch up on. Really a lot. When? I don’t really know. A lot of things have been happening to each of us. Happy, Sad, Exciting, Inspiring, Confusing…. really a lot. But I am sure that one of these days, we will just pick up from where we left off… How are you? How has life been treating you? HA,HA,HA,HA…. remember how people would tease us whenever they see us together? Wish lang nila… I had a good friend with me and I could not ask for anything more. Laban sila?

I may have never got the chance to tell you… But thank you, thank you, thank you for all those times we shared. I have indeed grown in our FRIENDSHIP and will always treasure that.

Banagan!!!! Eat your heart out! Hahahaha….  Just awhile ago, he sent me a YM message and said he did not like what I have been writing in my blogs… Ssssssoooo???? Well this is for you BANAGAN!!!

What do you think is he doing here? Well… here goes. we were having a despedida party of an officemate of ours. While all of us were talking and laughing, he was here at the end of the table watching the last series of one of the Soap Operas that time. See his smile? Hahaha… basin nihilak pa na sya..wala lang mikabantay.

Then here in Singapore.. Nice na unta kay kita gyud ang flowers. But, I don’t really know what got into him… he did not look at the camera. Then I made him take my picture too. And this is what came out >>>>>>>> waaaaaaaaa … grrrrrr… wala nya gikuha ang flowers. Dako kaayog space sa right. That was not the first time. I had a lot of wasted pics all because he did not take it right!!!! Hhhmmmppp!!!!

Want some more pics of bloopers? Yaw nalang.. basta time to laag or go out of town, expect a wardrobe for the occasion. Signature na’ tanan ha… take note!!!! But cge nalang gyud kay friend lagi… maldito lang… gahi pa gyud ulo…. pero migo lang gihapon…. bisan cge lang ko awayun karung panahuna.. salig kalang ha…

Take care banagan… go on with your treck and reach for your dreams…

I don’t know what I am doing banging away on this laptop of mine. I just wanted to write. What about???? I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! Is it possible? I guess so coz I am.

Hhhhmmmmm….

I miss someone so much. That someone I could talk to and be myself. That someone who does not judge me outright. That someone who respects me. That someone I can cry to. That someone who is always ready to give me a hug and kiss whenever I need one. We used to have a term "3yos".. what is it now that someone asks… I say "Till we meet again". Inshallah!!!!

I am happy cause I had the chance to open the eyes of someone. The downside of it though is that it was not taken constructively. Instead what seems to be something small is starting to turn into a mild "chaos". All I can say.. it does not matter who you are physically and financially, what title you have, how long you have lived, etc… Each of us have different personalities and we have to live with it. If you are at the top…make sure you are on top of everything and you support those below you. Work as you should. On judgement day.. patas lang tayong lahat…

I am excited. Ohhh not exactly totally. I look forward to the sharing and learning in the class I attend every evening. Something new and something that makes me realize what I want to be. If it’s because I have more time on my hands now I don’t really know. But I love it!!!

I am confused… for so many reasons. Well, maybe I’d rather keep this part to myself. I have accepted what has come my way. I have come to terms with it. Almost anyway…

I am sad becuase of things that are happening and things that we cannot control But HE is on our side and HE will not give us anything that we cannot handle…HANG ON SISTER!!!!

I am still wondering. Wondering why I am writing for no reason at all… GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!

Reason Enough
Regine Velasquez

I made myself a promise some time ago
Never again to give my heart away
Fell in love with someone who left me in the end
The price of love was just too high to pay
I thought my life had ended, but you came along
And showed me how much brighter things could be
Now you see I’ve turned my back
On that promise that I made
Knowing that your love has set me free

(’Cause)You are reason enough for me to go on living
You are reason enough for me to smile again
In a world where hearts are broken
Every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I’ve found reason enough in you to love again

So here I am, all caught up in the new-found love
Feeling like I’ve never felt before
Putting my love on the line with you
And taking a chance again
I’m not afraid to love anymore
In a world where hearts are broken
Every now and then
One finds reason enough to love
Like I’ve found reason enough in you to love again

The past 6 weeks of my life has been full of saying goodbyes and so long….

• Saying goodbye to a place where I thought I would be
• Saying goodbye to my friends there
• Saying goodbye to the LOVE of my life
• Saying goodbye to a person who with her being "paranoid" made me grow so much
• Saying goodbye to acquaintances
• Leaving behind memories that I shall carry to my grave….

Toooooo many to mention….

October 31 had me saying goodbye and so long to a good friend. Not that her leaving was unexpected but things seemed to happen so fast when the go signal came. Luckily I was still able meet up with her. When we shall meet again… I don’t really know. Maybe I should just say… "see you in NC?" What have you got to say about that Bruuuu!!!  hahahahaha….

Yesterday, I had the chance to meet again with someone who will also be leaving this Sunday. Someone I worked with before and someone who has become a friend over the years… Lucky me…she had some free time so we were able to splurge in pancake house and dessert factory… BIG eat gyud…. So long Jasmine… I’ll see you when I see you …hahahaha….

"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end."
—Unknown

Last night I bid a friend GOOD-BYE. When we shall meet again, I don’t know…. in 6 months? in 1 year?, in 3 years?… I don’t really know. Even as my heart cringes at the thought of missing her company (laughter, tears, squabbles, quiet moments, and what nots…) I am happy for her. I shed no tears (FOR NOW @#$!^*&(!!!!!) because I am happy for her. Go my friend… reach for you dreams. As you would always say… FOCUS!!!!

Love ya Bru!!!! I’ll surely miss you!!!!

We used to be frightened and scared to try
Of things we don’t really understand why
We laugh for a moment and start to cry, we were crazy

Now that the end is already here
We reminisce ’bout old yells and cheers
Even if our last hurrahs were never clear

Farewell to you, my friends
We’ll see each other again
Don’t cry ’cause it’s not the end of ev’rything
You may be miles away
But here is where my heart will stay
With you, my friends, with you

Yesterday’s a treasure, today is here
Tomorrow on its way, the sky is clear
Thank you for the mem’ries, of all the laughter and tears

And not to mention our doubts and our fears
The hypertension we gave to our peers
It’s really funny to look back after all of these years

Farewell to you, my friend
We’ll see each other again
Don’t cry ’cause it’s not the end of ev’rything
I may be miles away
But here is where my heart will stay
With you, my friends, with you

Farewell to you, my friends
We’ll see each other again
Don’t worry ’cause it’s not the end of ev’rything
I may be oceans away
But here is where my heart will stay
With you, my friends, with you
With you, my friends, with only you

This is my 20th blog!!!! It is the 20th day of October AND…. it’s my birthday. Wow… I did reach this age huh!!! I do have a lot to be thankful for… Drama ta gamay…

• for the air that I breath
• for the family I have (ate, kuya, ditse, cousins, etc…)
• for the poeple who love me (my friends, not so friends, and YOU!!!)
• for putting money in my pocket (bisan jobless ko!)
• for the trials that have made me stronger (hmmm too many to mention)
• for the strength to keep me going
• for good health

This could go on and on… I do have a lot to be thankful for. Midnight woke me up with the ring of the phone. Not totally surprised but it was one of the best days to start my day… a call from someone I Love and Respect….I heard mass at 6:00 a.m. and I never felt so peaceful, even with all these I am going through. My cellphone has been sounding off endlessly…I am loved and remembered by my friends…. What the rest of the day has in store for me I do not know. I’ll maybe write again about it tonight….

I just want to share something I found on the net with you.

Tugging on My Heart