Christmas is here once again. Everyone is busy..with work, decorating their homes, doing the last minute shopping, attending parties… Oh yes indeed everyone from all walks of life are busy. I too have my share of "things to do" and intend to make this christmas a MERRY one for me too.

But what exactly is the Essence of Chirstmas ? Is it the gift giving? Is it being busy to decorate our homes? Or is it simply being around the poeple we love. For me, the Essence of Christmas is LOVE. We all have so much LOVE to give and yet do we? Do we give out LOVE to the people around us?

This Christmas season, let us meditate on the real Essence of Christmas amidst the celebration that we all are doing. Let us all remember HIM as we celebrate HIS birthday.

As HIS birthday approaches I would like to take time to thank the people who touched my life this year. Thoughtful friends who have shown LOVE and made my life more meaningful.

To you my friends…. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

*click on the highlighted blue words to see my special  presentation especially for all of you and a message from Jesus.

Ever met someone who is paranoid? I did!!!! And for more than 5 months I lived with it. All the lies, the deceit, the blaming me (even if I was not there when something happenned, a story always came up andit turned out to be my fault!!!)…. And what did I do? Nothing… people who don’t know me so well will say "I don’t beleive you did not do anything." Those who know me will say "Ana man gyud ka! Just write all your hurts in one sitting and after that, keep it somewhere where you won’t see it ever and move on." As it unfolded day by day during those 5 months, I just kept on writing and writing… till the day I left. I am glad that it dod not reach the point when I would confront her. I may keep my mouth shut for quite some time but I am definitely no pushover.

It has been months and I am already "out of sight" and till now… I still seem to be the apple of that persons eye!!!! GGGGGRRRRRRRRRR….. vaaakkkeeeettttttttt!!!!

So I decided to look it up word for word… other than what I already know about it. What is written below is what I found out. It’s a hopeless case somehow. If it was because of some childhood experiences that person had or not, I don’t really care. It’s just that SHE is pushing the people she loves away from her. The sad thing is she knows it and yet she does it relentlessly not only to her family but also to her friends. Oh well… no wonder.

I used to be mad, angry and hurt. Now, I pity her as she tortures herself. All I can do is to fervently pray for her, HURT as I am, that she be enlightened.

Sorry guys!!!! I just had to take this out of my system…

What is Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Quick Summary:

Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.

Symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder:

• Unwillingness to forgive perceived insults
• Excessive sensitivity to setbacks
• Distrustfulness and excessive self-reliance
• Projection of blame onto others
• Consumed by anticipation of betrayal
• Combative and tenacious adherence to personal rights
• Relentlessly suspicious

Additional Information:

Paranoid personality disorder is difficult to treat, as paranoids are often extremely suspicious of medical professionals. A combination of medication and talk therapy can be effective at combating the more debilitating symptoms of this disorder.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.
Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

She died as she had been born and as she had lived, in my care, and surrounded by those who loved her. Vicki W. Fowler

It has often been said that "Dogs are man’s best friend." True ba? So many times this has been proven to be true to me. I have had several pet dogs over the years… TimTam was one of my favorites.. She is gentle, has soulful eyes, sleeps by my bedroom door at night, makes a sound when she stretches, listens when I talk (ha.ha.ha) and never pressures me to give her a bite when I am eating. She has the eyes of her lola too…. Really one of the smarter dogs I have had over the years. I sometimes wondered what she was up to? Like this pic… was she listening? Or…trying to tell me something. But one afternoon last week, you just slept, did not eat, did not drink and looked at me with your soulful eyes and whined. The next day I no longer saw you (they make sure I don’t see my dogs when they pass on). I am somehow gonna miss you. And I will no longer sing …. "Tim,Tam,Tim,Tam,Tum. Tum,Tam,Tim,Tam,Tum, Tam,Tim……." for you are gone…

by John Fischer (www.purposedrivenlife.com)

I have found that it is very "in" to condemn the rudeness and intrusion into people’s space, which has resulted from the widespread use of the cell phone. New technology has a way of altering our lifestyle before we have a chance to fully assess its consequences. This one sprang up so fast that we can find ourselves talking on our cell phones about how rude cell phones are.

Have you noticed how, with headphones, people appear to be going around talking to themselves? One version looks like a large beetle with a death grip on the wearer’s ear. I’ve been in a public restroom before and the guy next to me says something and I turn to answer him only to discover he’s talking to his beetle. He’s in another world.

And then have you noticed how quickly we get attached to these new technologies and wonder how we managed without them? And yet if you stop and think about it, we did. We did just fine, as a matter of fact. So why don’t we just go back? Well you could if you don’t mind becoming out of touch with everyone around you including your own family.

So instead of fighting it, I’ve decided to think about winning this one. Like most technology, this one has good and bad consequences. What are some situations where a cell phone saved the day or made something possible that wouldn’t have happened without it?

Cell phones can bring us into closer communication with those we love and work with, and it’s hard to imagine how communication could ever be a bad thing. In heaven, we’ll have a form of communication that will leave cell phones in the dust (pun intended). I bet we will be in constant communication and have access to anyone, any time. I even bet we’ll know stuff about each other in heaven without having to communicate about it. But until then, I supposed we’ll have to walk around looking like we’re talking to ourselves. Do me a favor, though, and don’t get one of those beetle things. They really look silly.

by Tammy Marcelain  (www.heartlight.org)

But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT).

What is a cancer? My definition: A cancer is something that is foreign to the place where it lives. A cancer can spread and invade other places in your body or in your life. There is the cancer that we all know — abnormal cells that reproduce in our body causing our normal cells trouble. There is also the cancer of sin. Sin that finds its way into our thoughts and that spreads through our heart.

Lance Armstrong is featured in a recent television commercial on cancer. He speaks of how cancer made him stronger. I connected with his words, because that is what the Lord did for me through my son’s battle with a brain tumor, a benign cancer. Jack was five at the time of diagnosis. He is now seven, and we continue to work through struggles with his continued health.

Through the months of chemotherapy, I sat right next to Jack in a large room filled with men, women, and children being treated for cancer. There was a common feeling in the room, "I will do all I can to keep the cancer from taking over my body. I will not lie down quietly while my body dies a quiet death. I will fight for my life and I will not give up. Lord help me."

The sense of accomplishment when those words come true cannot even be described. It is like falling over a cliff, grabbing on to a lone branch, and climbing back up to the top. The Lord is mightily by your side, creating that branch that you grabbed, making foot holds in the cliff gently with His fingertip, and giving us the avenues to climb. However, the steps must be taken by us. We must reach out for that branch. We must look for the next place to put our feet. We must climb toward the top, trusting even in times of uncertainty.

Once that mountaintop is reached, there is a feeling of beating death, a strength has been tapped into that likely we did not even know existed. The future is filled with more intentional actions, focusing on what is important. The little things that once ruined our day are now just inconveniences. There is an urgency to share the Gospel and a boldness that was not there before.

What happens if a Christian doesn’t make it to the top of that cliff?

The sense of accomplishment cannot be described!

I have to believe that our Lord has counted our days and that was the day that our work on earth was to be done. And when we are done, we are delivered into Jesus’ arms — a place we all hope and pray to reside for eternity.

And for those left on earth to live another day, we continue to strive to run the race and persevere with a renewed spirit.

The cancer of sin can leave us even more helpless than physical cancer. God will give you a branch to grasp, a foothold to climb, and an avenue of escape. With a spiritual cancer, we must use God’s word rather than chemo. Praise and worship are the shot in the arm to raise our spirits. The avenues of escape are there, so dig in your heels, let God help you, and resolve to fight against Satan’s influence in your life.

When you get to the top of that mountain, the feeling is much the same as it is with defeating physical cancer. You have an urgency to share the Gospel. You are more intentional about using your life for important things. You are committed to not letting the cancer take hold again.

Cancer is called the silent disease because it often grows in us without our awareness. I believe that sin can be even more silent than physical cancer. There is no test a doctor can do to detect it, but the Holy Spirit will always know the state of our spirit. His job is to convict us (John 16:7-8) and to empower us (Ephesians 3:14-21; 1 John 4:4). So pray for God to open your eyes to the silent killer in your life, then start looking for the branch, the foothold, and the avenue! If you look closely, the top is in sight!

I was just browsing thru my profile last night thinking of what else to do with it (ha,ha,ha). I read thru it and noticed that in the "who i want to meet" portion I placed that "it would be nice to meet friends from way back"… I don’t know what got into me but I started searching names of friends from way back. The "ultimate surprise" (actually schock!!!) I got was when I typed the name of a special friend of mine from way back… His name and picture was there, his profile was viewable and his email was there! I sent him a smile with a message. I don’t know though if he will reply just yet.

Finding his name made me laugh and smile no regrets knowing him and being part of his life (angkunun ba kaha ko noh?) We met like ages ago… May 1984 and the last I heard from him was 1993? It’s been more than 10 years. He must have made an impression in my life cause there never is a week when his "name/image" does not cross my mind even for a fleeting moment. And now this? WOW!!! But it sure is nice to know that he is okay. Finding your name here has made me smile because he has found what he wants to be and is doing what he loves most.

For you my friend who once cheered me up when I was down, gave me smiles when I was too tired to give you one, made me laugh when I was in one of my moods, turned my life around and most importantly gave me a glimpse of the real world with all it’s sham, pain, deceit and drudgery…. Godspeed!!! Till we meet again.

I was never keen on having a music video attachment in my profile mainly because i did not like the video part itself. Last night a friend and I started tinkering around looking for just music without video. And so I got music now in my profile without any video…just the way I wanted it to be. And the song I chose?

GREATEST LOVE OF ALL
By: Whitney Houston

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

Chorus:
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

Repeat Chorus

And if by chance, that special place
That you’ve been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Meaningful song huh! This has been my favorite song since I was in grade 5. Yes grade 5!!! I know this is one thing my friends don’t know. I still remember the time when I decided that this would be my favorite song. That was in our old house, early evening with my dad, in the living room, listening to the song and I go… "Da, mula ngayon ito na ang favorite song ko for life." Hmmmm the reaction I got then was just a laugh from him. This song would fade as new songs came into the scene, then a re-make of the song was again there by another artist and then again…. hmmmm naklaro na akong idad nuon da! And though I have also liked other songs this has always been in my mind.

Funny but it was only last night when I decided to  put music in my profile and of course chose this song that I realized a lot of things…. things that I have been doing and things that I have always wanted to do all along.

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.

~ Marianne Williamson~

"There was a man that hated his footprints and his shadow, so one
day he thought that if he ran fast enough, his footprints and
shadow would not be able to follow him and then he would never have to look at them again. He ran and he ran as fast as he could, but the shadow and the footprints had no problems keeping up to him.

And he ran even faster and all of a sudden he fell dead to the
ground. But if he had been standing still there wouldn’t have been
any footprints and if he had been resting under a tree his shadow
would have been swallowed by the tree’s shadow."
~ Benjamin Hoff, author of "The Tao of Pooh"

Many times we hate our problems and do our best to run away from
them, but no matter how fast we run or how far we go, our problems follow, scurrying behind us like footprints and shadows. Little do we realize that if we will just stand still and wait, breathing deep and relaxing both body and mind, the solution, in similar fashion to the shadow of the tree, will swallow up the problem whole and leave us free to celebrate.

God’s-eye view by John Fischer “For now we see through a glass, darkly …” (1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV) I had a mentor once who loved to teach about faith from a 20-foot long timeline of Bible history that he used as a powerful visual effect. He would roll out this room-sized diagram with a long line from Adam and Eve to the present day. On it, at appropriate spots, he would place little figures representing some of the well-known characters of the Bible such as Abraham, Moses, David, Ezekiel, and Paul. Then, he would walk over to where, say, Moses was, turn him toward the future, and place a dark pane of glass right in front of his nose. “This is how much Moses could see when he looked this way,” he would say, and because we had the perspective of the rest of the timeline, we could understand Moses’ dilemma, but also gain strength from what we knew lay ahead of him that he couldn’t see. In other words, in relation to Moses, we had more of a God’s-eye view of things. Though Moses could not see into the future, there were two directions he could look, both of which were useful to his faith and in turn are useful to ours. He could look back and see how God had been faithful in his own life up until then, and, most importantly, he could look up to God and put his trust in the one who sees all. The obvious lesson here is that we are in a similar place. We can only look back to the past and up to God, and remember there is a God’s-eye view of this; we just can’t see it right now. He knows what he’s doing and how the events of our lives fit into his overall purposes for us and those around us. He sees reasons we have no access to. He sees a plan that looks at best murky from our point of view. But the future, and God’s purposes for us, and the reliability of his promises are no less reliable than they were to Moses. In fact, we have the huge benefit of much more history than Moses ever had – the fulfillment of things he could only dream about. Just remember, whatever you are going through today or wondering about in relation to tomorrow, there is a God’s-eye view of this. Look up.